Impossible To Love Without Pain
by senpaicutie64
Summary: Yuki has always loved Tohru, and one night he finally gets his wish. But things get complicated when Kyo learns of their relationship, and Tohru is forced between two different lovers. Can she choose, or will it end in heartbreak no matter what?
1. Introduction

Heeeyy people!! Me again, senpaicutie64. Thanks to my great cousin who helped me write this!! As you know, I usually write light humor stuff but this is not characteristically my style… I don't do the dramatic stuff. But hey, once and awhile it's good to know that you're not limited. The chapters are short, so deal with it!! I've gotten too may damn complaints about it!!  Anyways, please comment!!!

Introduction- What Would You Say?

_You've got to do it soon. Tell her or you'll loose courage, like the idiot you are. Tell her tonight._

Yuki Sohma shook his head angrily, trying to calm his agitated self. He threw his magazine on his bedside table, getting up and stretching. _What an_ _idiot I am, skipping school_ _just so you don't have to face her today._

He paced out of his bedroom, and down the corridor. He was about to descend the stairs when he glanced up and saw Tohru's bedroom slightly ajar. He mentally fought with himself, trying vainly to resist the urge for just a peek. Irritated even more, he kicked the wall closest to him, and stormed down the stairs. _I was almost as bad as that disgusting dog. _He got to the bottom, and stopped dead when he saw her at the hallway, hanging her coat and humming to himself. His heart skipped a beat and he swallowed loudly, an involuntary smile curving on his perfect lips.

"Hello, Honda-san," Yuki greeted her as she came in the kitchen. Tohru stopped in the doorway, shock on her face, her bag swinging lightly at her side. Yuki's brow creased. "What is it?" She shook her head, putting her hand to her heart after a minute and smiling in relief. "Oh, Yuki-kun, you scared me! I forgot that you were skipping school today..." she trailed off, still shaking her head. Yuki smiled slowly, still taking in her expression as she stepped into the kitchen, setting her bag on the counter and turning around to face him, leaning on the counter.

"So how was your day, Yuki-kun?" she chatted easily, her bright eyes blinking innocently at his face. He composed himself, stepping closer to her, putting an easy smile on his face. "Well, it was all right, I guess. I just worked on a paper due," He lied easily, knowing that he could never, ever tell her that he skipped just to buy himself some time. She tilted her head, listening intently to every word.

"Manabe-kun was looking for you, you know. He said something about a big, long sword if you skip again, and then started throwing some tantrum." She laughed lightly, looking out the window, thinking. "He can be very strange, sometimes."

Yuki chuckled, shaking his head also. "Yes, well, that's him all right." He sighed, resting his eyes softly on her. Taking a deep breath, he started. "Tohru…?"

She looked up at him in surprise, her eyes searching his face. "Erm..y-yes?" she asked her voice shaking slightly. _He's acting unusual, she_ thought, as he shifted his weight so that his body was facing hers. He cleared his throat, taking a small step towards her. "What would you say if… someone said that they loved you?"

She frowned, thinking hard, and blushing a tiny bit. "Hmm…well, it would depend on who it was, I guess. I would of course be flattered, but… I'm not sure, why…why do you ask?" She looked at him, a genuine look on her face. Yuki leaned in slowly, and placed his arm on one side of her, his gorgeous face inches from hers. "Well, then..." His sweet-smelling breath blew lightly on her face, and she looked into his warm eyes. "What would you say if I was that person?" he asked softly, his courage coming from somewhere deep inside him. She trembled slightly as his breath blew a few strands lightly from her face.

She looked at him one more time before she leaned up and meet his lips softly.

It was like nothing either of them had experienced, but they both knew what to do as Yuki moved his hands hesitantly to her neck, running his hands down her jawline and swept her hair back. They kissed passionately, and Tohru brought her hands to his shoulders, snaking them aroung his neck, bringing him closer.

The door banged open, and a certain fiery red-head stormed in, his face livid and his eyes more deep than that.


	2. The All Too Familiar Feeling

Oohh, I know I'm bad, I left it at a cliffhanger…but I gotta tell you this chapter is just as awesome!! So be cool and give me a review DAMMIT!!!!!!! Hah hah I'm just kidding I was watching South park and the swearing of Eric got to me! Anyways, _please _send me a review!! 

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"WHAT the HELL?" Kyo fumed, banging the door behind him, and staring lividly at the two guilty-looking faces that were just recently locking lips. Tohru ducked out under Yuki's stiff arm and reached for Kyo, but he flinched away, disgust evident on his face. She bit her lip, looking up him with pleading eyes. "Kyo-ku…Kyo, please listen to me, I never meant to hur-"

"Hurt me?!" Kyo snorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Tohru recoiled at the venom in his voice, as he shook his head and started backing away to the stairs. "Well, congrats Tohru. You got everything you want, right? Mr. Prince Charming is just so perfect, isn't he? You're happy now, right?!"

There was a slightly hysteric note to his voice, his voice catching a bit at the end. With one last loathing glance behind him, Kyo turned and swiftly dashed to the stairs, taking them two at a time, determined not to let them see the injured tears welling in his eyes.

* * *

Head bowed over her cup of tea, Tohru barely felt the comforting hand rubbing her back soothingly, her whole body feeling numb and hollow. Yuki looked down at her sadly, wishing that he could do something more for her than say meaningless comfort words. _Why did it have to turn out like this, _he wondered, marveling at the irony of it all. _My perfect first moment with her and Kyo has to come in right then. Right then! He's not going to be in a good mood for another week or so. Maybe longer. I just hate to see her suffer because he decides to be difficult about this. _He glanced down, fingering Tohru's silky hair as she looked away sadly. _Maybe she's acting like this because she also…_

_No, _Yuki shook his head irritably. _She was the one who kissed me, it can't be like that. She's just upset because Kyo is. She's like that, so generous all the time. _He felt a sudden overwhelming feeling for the girl who was sitting in front of him. Taking her chin in his hands, he gently turned her head so that she was facing him. He studied her face for a second, and then pressed his lips tenderly to her soft ones. She gratefully turned around, not breaking the kiss, and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging her body to his.

_Ah, yes, _Yuki thought as he ran his hand down her and cradled the small of her back. _This feels right._

After a moment, Tohru broke away, their lips brushing as they separated. Her face still inches from his, she took her hand and placed it on his cheek gently. "I think that I need to go talk to Kyo," she whispered, her bangs tickling his forehead. Yuki was overcome for a moment with a head-dizzying wonderful smell of lavender as he bent his head to her neck, in taking the beautiful smell.

"One more thing," he breathed, sending shivers down her spine as his hand brushed down her ribs and over down her waist. He pressed his hands under her shirt to touch the soft, warm skin of her hips.

Tohru bent over him, placing her hands on his shoulders and slowly pushed him to the floor. She leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth, sliding her leg over him and leaning into him. Yuki's head was getting dizzy and disconcertingly fuzzy as he gently pushed her lips open with his. Realizing slowly where this would go, he regretfully rolled over so he was on top of her, breaking the kiss and supporting his weight so she would carry none of it. He gazed down in wonder at the beautiful girl under him. "All right, now you can go," he murmured, flashing her a grin and getting off Tohru, pulling her to her feet. She giggled a bit, and smoothed her hair into place, all worry gone from her head.

"Please don't put him in a worse mood," he said softly, giving her hand one last squeeze as she started fore the stairs. She smiled lightly at him, still a bit breathless, and started for the stairs.

As she slowly started to climb, the reality sunk in and she began to worry once again. _What will I say? What can I do at this point? Is there really any hope for us to be friends again? _She bit her lip and taking one last breath, climbed the final stair and headed for his room. She stopped at the end of the hallway, and stood in front of the closed door, praying that her courage not fail her. Taking another shaking breath, she stepped forward and knocked one on his door.

She heard a rustling sound from his room and heard him padding slowly on the carpet, heading for the door. She waited nervously as he fumbled with the doorknob, and then opened it. He looked at her, eyes slightly narrowed, but not as mad as she expected him to be. She inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. All wasn't lost quite yet.

"Yeah?" he asked her, his voice guarded but still soft, almost as if not to scare her. She looked up and was at a momentary loss for words as she stared up into the familiar eyes, losing her thoughts as her mind drifted aimlessly, lost in a strange spell. Almost involuntarily, Kyo reached up a trembling hand. He hesitated, still looking at her. After a moment, he ran his hand along the length of her jaw, his hand shaking slightly.

"Aahh," Tohru whimpered quietly, but not in agony or pain. No, it wasn't anything of the sort, as he took that hand and brushed her hair off her neck, his eyes emotional and undecided. He reached down very slowly, and brushed his lips across her jaw line, up and down again, sending once again those shaky shivers down her spine, and an exhilarated little sigh escaped her lips.

No this feeling was all too familiar. It was love.


	3. What Are You Doing?

Okay!! I still do not own anything! Yeah, okay this chapter is really short but make do, okay? And I liiivvee for reviews.. It makes my day and if you want good quality chapters, pleeeeaassee review!! Thanks, and this has been senpaicutie64.

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"Mmm," Kyo breathed, his head buried in Tohru's neck, breathing in her floral scent. Tohru was standing perfectly still, in his doorway, her eyes closed and arms wrapped loosely around his waist, taking in the moment. He had his hands meshed in her hair, bringing her face closer to his, perfectly oblivious to her chaotic feeling swirling dizzily around in her head.

_Why am I not stopping this?_ She wondered, as he pushed her gently against the wall, bringing his lips back to her neck, his strong arms on either side of her._ Why do I not want him to stop?_ She sighed, because she fully well knew the answer. She was in love with two different Sohma's, and she could do nothing about it. Could not choose between, could not be without either one. Could do nothing but hurt them both, eventually.

She gently tried pushing him off her, for his body was now molded one her, his lips still working slowly up her neck. Kyo froze mid-kiss, and broke away, bewildered. "What?" he asked her huskily, his breathing ragged from all the kissing. She took a shaking breath. "I'm sorry, Kyo. I-I've got to go…" She tried moving out from under him again, but he caught her chin in his hands, tilting her head up so she had look into his eyes. "What's the matter," he murmured again, his beautiful face inches from her own. She tried clearing her head from his sweet-smelling breath that was making her head woozy.

"K..Kyo, I…" she tried again, her face slowly becoming fuzzier as his slightly parted lips were literally centimeters apart from hers. Her eyes slowly flickered from his eyes to his lips, who were slowly coming closer for their first kiss. She screamed at herself inwardly. _Stop while you have a chance!_ She thought desperately, but it was swallowed up by a different side of her brain, the side that said_ You know you love him. So why stop?_ She sighed and leaned in, and met his lips softly. They were soft and warm, but with a different edge that she couldn't put her finger on.

She kissed him back for a moment, until reality came crashing back down on her, and she brought her head back, her face confused and hard, in some ways. Kyo shook his head, bewildered again, his brow furrowed.

"Am I doing something wrong or what, Tohru?" he asked her irritably, trying to keep his voice calm. She smiled apologetically, and shrugged out from under his arms, steppi9ng away slowly. "Kyo, don't you see what I'm doing? What I'm doing is a miserable, bad thing to do! I've gone and kissed Yuki, and when you went upstairs, we…w-well, never mind," she stumbled hurriedly over her words, wishing that hadn't slipped out. Kyo narrowed his eyes, and she nervously started again, "Then I go upstairs and kiss YOU, don't you see where I'm getting? I can't do this, its wrong!!!" She cried, her voice miserable.

Kyo looked away for a bit, and then fixed his gaze on her steadily. "So you're gonna choose Yuki after all that?" His voice was acidic, and he no longer bothered to keep the hurt out of his voice. Tohru shook her head miserably, shrugging her shoulders. "Kyo, I don't think I have a choice! After all, I did kiss Yuki first, and I can't just walk away from him!" Kyo narrowed his eyes even more. "But it's okay for you to walk away from me, then?"

Before she had a chance to react, Kyo closed the distance in between them with two long strides, grabbed her shoulders, dragging her body to him, and pressed his mouth to hers forcefully, moving his lips roughly against hers. "Mmph!" she protested, but her will was ignored by Kyo, who forced her mouth open. She tried to get him off her, but her arms were folded up against his chest, useless against his strength. Through her anger, she couldn't help but feel that..that _feeling_ leak through her brain. That feeling of _liking_ that Kyo's chest was vast and strong. That she _liked_ the feeling of his tongue against hers. The feeling that she shouldn't have for two young men at the same time.

But as soon as it started, Tohru felt Kyo abruptly leave her body, and she heard a crashing sound as he flew into the wall, sliding down into a slumped position. Her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes wide with shock.

"Get the **hell** off of my girlfriend," she heard a familiar voice snarl, and she saw Yuki standing in front of her, anger etched on his face.


	4. I'm Not Mad

Heeyyy! It's your lovely senpai!! Soo..this chapter is short (again) and I apologize but it is chock-full of good stuff!! (chock-full? What the hell?!) Anyways, I love your lovely reviews!! It makes me all happy inside, and when I'm happy I write good stuff!! So please R&R my lovely chibis! (Hm. I seem to have a disorder that means I love to say 'lovely'. You should know, Amanda!! And Furubafan, for that matter) Okay, I'll shut up now!!

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The tense silence dragged on, and Tohru felt the feeling of her heart swelling up in her throat, constricting her airway and disabling her ability to speak when she so desperately needed to. Her terrified eyes flickered from Yuki's hard face, to Kyo, who had stumbled to his feet, and was snarling quietly under his breath, his cat-like eyes fixed on Yuki's rigid body. Yuki finally broke the silence, his eyes unwavering from Kyo's, determined not to break away.

"I will ask you one more time," Yuki growled, his voice shaking with resentment. "What do you _**think** _you were doing? After you knew fully well that she had chosen me, you don't go kissing her! That's just..." he trailed off, unable to find words to describe his disgust. Kyo snorted cynically, his eyes mocking Yuki slightly.

"But did she really choose you?" he challenged Yuki, sidestepping him and starting to circle him tantalizingly. Yuki didn't miss Kyo's movement, but his eyes briefly flickered with doubt. Tohru's heart sped up automatically, and she swallowed a gasp that threatened to escape.

"Um...please you two," she plead softly, placing herself in between them hesitantly. "D-don't fight now, r-really…it's not worth-"

"Tohru?" Yuki's voice from behind her, and with a stab of dread she noted that his voice was distrusting, unsure of how she would react. She slowly turned around, her face to her dismay, slightly guilty. "Y-yes?" she squeaked, her face pleading. Yuki's face became suddenly suspicious, plus other unreadable emotions.

Eyes narrowed, Yuki tried to make his face controlled as possible. _Please, please say it isn't true._ "Did you…k-"

"Kiss me? Yeah, she did actually." Kyo's voice came through their conversation, hard and criticizing, seeming to take pleasure in their discomfort. Yuki's head whipped up; they had been involuntarily leaning into each other. He glared at Kyo, and then turned his head back to Tohru, his eyes softening a bit. "It's all right," Yuki murmured, hesitantly brushing his hand down her neck. Tohru warmed under his touch, extremely grateful to Yuki for his understanding. Her eyes flickered back to Kyo's sneering face, and she realized something.

_He's trying to get me in trouble, _she thought incredulously, marveling slightly at his twisted pleasure. _Was I wrong about him? _Her eyes looked back up to Yuki's kind face, and she suddenly had a thought. _Is Kyo really worth hurting Yuki over? __The unselfish, sweet Yuki? _Taking a deep breath, she stared to speak. _No, he isn't._

"That's true to some degrees," she murmured to Yuki quietly, her voice barely audible. "I really didn't mean for it to happen, Yuki, really I didn't mean anything by it. I went up to apologize, and one thing led to another." She looked at Kyo, her eyes daring him to add other comments. He was glaring at her, the warmth she had experienced earlier gone. "But he did kiss me against my will," she added, a little louder. "I'm glad you came."

Yuki's face molded into relief, his posture relaxing slightly. "I see," he breathed, smiling a bit. She smile back up at him, then turned her eyes back to Kyo.

She wasn't surprised to see him considering her intensely. _I'm over you, _she thought a little sadly, but it was defiant.

"Well, then," Yuki said, turning back to Kyo, his eyes narrowing again. "Make sure it doesn't happen again, you stupid cat," he announced, his head held high and triumph bordering his voice. Kyo glared briefly at him, but his eyes held a little defeat, as if saying _I wish I wouldn't loose my cool like that._ Tohru felt a little guilt, but remembered how Yuki had defended her so readily, even though he had doubts of his own. As for Kyo, he tried to get her in trouble, all the while sneering at her beloved Yuki.

_Oh, Kyo, _she thought forlornly, as Yuki lead her to the stairs, his arm wrapped around her waist. _I can't wait for that good person to come out of you. You are good, deep inside, but if waiting for you is going to be like this, then I can't deal with it. I'm sorry. _

Suddenly, she felt an arm on her shoulder, and she turned around, surprised. Kyo had caught up to them, and he turned her around gently. Yuki's eyes narrowed, but he let him turn her around reluctantly. Kyo's face came close to hers, but it passed and stopped so he was breathing down her neck. She shivered slightly at it tickled her skin. _Oh well,_ she thought. Some feelings you just couldn't shake.

"Touché," he murmured, a slight note of humor in his voice.


End file.
